Life becomes pointless when you don't have any goals.

It becomes really twisted the moment you graduate because you need to form your own goal. You do not have a time limit or number of years to achieve a certain goal you want to attain in life. It's like you form goals for yourself. You also give rewards to yourself. It's not like there is an achievement unlocked anymore. It's like you are now entering the survival mode. 

Life's really beyond a 4 years course. 

If you're not mentally prepared when you chose your course, if it was because of the so-called norm, or what people used to do and you think you have to do it because they are doing it... it's 50/50. And it sucks when you fall on the lower half. 

But then again. What would you do?

I just expressed my feelings to two important persons in my life. 

It is a mixture of happiness and tears. 

It's kind of sad that you won't be able to watch them forever. Like take them by your side and just watch them. Haha. But that bittersweet reality is something that makes you think about something, miss something, look forward for something, and believe that even though you are miles and miles and miles apart, you still have them. Someone to run to when a relationship goes bad or something. Haha! 

Don't know how to define this kind of love. But it is love and you can't really define it. 

:) 

Sometimes I wonder about friendship. Being clingy. Being attached. Wanting them to be yours forever. Feeling frustrated knowing the fact that one day, they'll not be by your side. Because they are already taking care of someone they'll spend the rest of their lives with. Yup. Partners. Girlfriends. Boyfriends. Sad truth. And then you will look at yourself. Realizing how far you are than them. Because all you ever wanted was to have fun. Was to play. Was to enjoy the moment. And they start to grow up. Oh Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up. It just saddens me that things are bound to change. 

Esports

I learned about eSports for League of Legends last year, due to constant searching on how to play the game. I somehow come across a video about Doublelift, an eSport player who actually has an interview on how he started on the sport. Through that interview, I became aware that there are teams formed up to contest with each other, just like what they do in Garena PH and other Asian teams. 

I became to like the team where Doublelift is. I have no idea how popular his team is however, I know for a fact that as an individual he is quite popular because of his back story. He concentrated in learning and practicing playing League and nevertheless gained the title of "Best AD Carry" 

Later on I finally got to know his team which is Counter Logic Gaming (CLG). Now this season's LCS is happening, I'm rooting for this team. First two games I watched them play they LOST. It was quite a disappointment although I didn't really back off from rooting them. 

Then after that I've watched 2 more games, in which they won - the only thing that went on my mind is that it doesn't matter if your bet lose as long as you keep on rooting them, the moment they win all you will do is be impressed! How I love that feeling. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKxIGpmbgxI 

It's probably the same feeling that people who has fans with other sports such as basketball or soccer. I can say is that eSports is fast growing because of the dedication RIOT puts in this MOBA, they are widening the options for people to choose where they really belong. 

Pain

I tried skipping pain medications and it was horrible. How do you manage yourself when you are in pain? A girl really has a tough job on this one. It's driving me nuts. My pain threshold is just so low when it comes to dysmenorrhea. It's an internal pain that's not sharp at stingy. It's like a crush from within which will make you crumble.

If the pain is from a cut or something, it doesn't affect your organs and way of walking. It stays outside. 

Internal pain is like coming from the core and out.

I always dare to say that I want my uterus be removed and I couldn't care less if I won't have babies. Screw womanhood this is just so painful!